


wanna be yours

by asheijiluvbot



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Adam - Freeform, M/M, Skating, back with another angst, erm this probably wont b very happy, fuck you adam, i hate adam sm, not like this :(, reki would give anything to see langa happy, renga deserve happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29666325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asheijiluvbot/pseuds/asheijiluvbot
Summary: I wanted to be yours, just not like this.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 13
Kudos: 94





	wanna be yours

**Author's Note:**

> yes im back with another angst hope you enjoy sad lgbts

_Excited? I don't get excited! I’m scared. how can you be acting like its all fun and stuff? You and Adam are nothing like me. Nothing like me. Do whatever you like. You crazy geniuses can skate with each other all you want. I cant keep up. You and I Aren't... a good match anymore._

Langa continued to silently cry in his bed. He was facing his plain white ceiling that Reki had once suggested he decorate with skating posters, he said it would bring the room to life a little more.

_You brought me to life a little more, Reki._

The tears streamed continuously streamed down Langa's face. His skin was now pale and blotchy, his eyelashes were soaked and darker than usual and he felt extremely dehydrated. He couldn't bring himself to walk to the kitchen down the hall and grab a glass of water, it felt like too much, or rather it felt like he didn't deserve to do it. Langa felt as though he deserved all the pain he was feeling no matter how small it was. The sore eyes, the dry, scratchy throat, he felt he deserved every bit of it for what he did to Reki. He heart Reki, continuously, and he didn't even realise.

Langa let out a sob and slapped his hand out of his mouth so he could muffle the pained sound that had half-escaped his chapped lips. 

_How did I not realise he was hurting so bad, and for so long no less._

He though back to all of his recent memories with Reki, the one sticking out to him the most was the morning where Reki walked straight past him. He didn't even notice the smile Reki had given him was forced.

_You were supposed to be his best friend and you can't even tell when he's faking a smile._

That night Langa didn't sleep a wink while Reki had cried himself to sleep. Langa kept himself up thinking about every time he could remember the two being together, he overanalysed every single interaction that had, he wanted to pinpoint exactly where he went wrong but he just couldn't. Those eight hours felt like years of emotional torment to Langa and he just wanted to escape it. He wanted to feel something different.

Each day felt the exact same since their argument. Langa would hardly sleep, he would stay isolated in school completely ignoring people who tried to speak to him, he would lock himself in his room whenever he got the chance, he was a shell of himself. He hadn't been skating either, his board sat in the corner of his room basically taunting him every time he glanced at it. His board was just a reminder of everything he had lost because he didn't pay attention.

Langa sat on his bed with his legs hung over the side, he could feel the piece of wood glaring holes into the side of his head, it was daring him, begging him to skate. It kept screaming at him to go out and have fun doing something he enjoyed. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Langa caved. He grabbed his board, gloves and shoes and ran out of his house leaving nothing to explain his whereabouts to his mother. 

The board felt good under his feet, hearing the bearings roll and the wheels click against the concrete was music to his ears. It had been weeks since he felt the wind flow through his hair like this, weeks since he felt this weightless, weeks since he felt like he belonged to something. He had spent so long overthinking and pining that he had completely forgotten about everything else. Langa skated up to the gates of S and had a small smirk on his face at all of the people around. Each one looked at him with a shocked expression, nobody had seen him since before his fight with Reki, not even Cherry, Joe, Shadow and Miya. He felt his adrenaline levels rise as he caught sight of a head of spiky blue hair that completely contrasted against his ugly red suit. 

"Adam"

Adam spun around and looked at Langa, he was almost shocked, keyword almost.

"My dear Snow, it's been a while" Adam said in a sultry tone, Langa made a disgusting face "you're here which means your little hairball mustn't be far behind"

Langa stared at Adam, he knew he was talking about Reki. He wanted to defend him so badly but he didn't think he was in a place to do so.

"Just me" Langa replied back, a small smirk and resettled itself onto his face and a sadistic smile rose onto Adam's

"Midnight?" Langa asked, though it sounded more like a statement.

"Midnight" Adam agreed.

From further down the street, Cherry, Joe Miya and Shadow watched Adam and Langa's interaction. Cherry and his eyes narrowed at the two "where's Reki? Isn't he usually the one to pull Langa from these situations?" 

Miya furrowed his eyebrows "you're right... where is he? can anyone see? Shadow lift me up so I can get a better look"

"No" shadow replied sternly 

"C'mon it's for Reki and Langa" Miya replied, his eyes now appearing soft and endearing. 

Shadow just stared at him for a minute before letting out a long sigh "fine come here"

Shadow lifted Miya onto his shoulders and the two scanned the area for a head of red hair, however there was no success.

"He's not here" Miya said as he clicked his tongue.

"Maybe he doesn't know Langa's here?" Joe suggested.

Miya nodded and pulled out his phone "I'll text him"

_Langa at S, Adam, Midnight._

Reki was asleep as usual when his phone went off. He rubbed his eyes groggily and looked for the device whilst in complete darkness.

Reki's eyes read over the text twice to make sure he was in fact reading it right, Langa was going against Adam, again.

"Shit"

Reki jumped out of his bed and put on his clothes as quickly as possible before grabbing the board that he hadn't ridden in weeks and running from his house. He threw the skateboard down roughly and jumped onto it before skating the shortest route he knew of to S. He gathered as much speed as he could without falling from his board and prayed that he would make it in time.

He did not.

Just as he skated through the gates, the bang was sounded which meant the start of the race. Reki picked up speed again as he swerved through the crowds. 

"Reki!?" Joe called 

"Joe? It's started... I need to stop him" Reki said whilst slightly out of breathe.

"Reki.. you can't you wont be able to catch up" Joe said quietly. Reki looked at him in disbelief before he finally snapped.

"I am so SICK of people telling me in gonna be left behind. I'm going to save my person"

Reki took off again on his skateboard and people let out gasps as he rode after Adam and Langa. His bearings were loud as he rode down the track, every now and again he would kick off to maintain and even gain some speed in some desperate attempt to catch them up. And finally he did, however, it was just in time to see Langa take a tumble into one of the rocks that lined the track.

"LANGA" Reki screamed.

He completely discarded his board which made him stumble slightly as he ran over to Langa who was bleeding from his side. 

"Langa? Langa look at me please stay awake!" Reki said. His voice trembled as did his hands as he removed his sweatshirt to tie around Langa's bleeding side. He formed his makeshift tourniquet and then grabbed Langa's face. Reki had blood on his finger's and this smeared onto Langa's face which made a stark contrast against his pale skin. 

"Langa please look at me!" Reki said, tears were streaming down his face as Langa finally looked up at him. A small smile formed on his lips.

"Reki" Langa said in a dazed sort of voice.

Reki nodded, his hair shaking with him "yeah its me Langa" Reki sniffled, he tried to smile for Langa "I'm here, I've got you"

"Reki... I just wanted to feel something" Langa said quietly, the small smile dropping from his face completely.

"W-what do you mean Langa?" Reki gulped, he was terrified this would happen, he would lose Langa to skating. 

"I wanted to... to feel something else Reki. Loving you just hurt so much... I couldn't take it anymore Reki"

Langa know had tears falling from the sides of his eyes as he explained himself, his breathes were unsteady as the two could hear ambulance siren's in the distance. 

"Y-you.. you love me?" Reki stuttered 

"More than you know" Langa confirmed, he felt himself feeling tired all of a sudden "Reki.. I'm sleepy"

"No Langa you have to stay awake come on!" Reki said as he continued to hold Langa's face "Langa please!"

Reki felt a sudden surge of adrenaline and before he knew it he had his lips on Langa's. There was no response for a moment and suddenly Reki felt Langa's lips move against hi. The sirens were getting louder but neither paid attention as they were locked into there moment. Reki was the one to pull away.

"Now you gotta stay awake because we need to talk about this" Reki said as he gave Langa a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes they way it usually would.

"Okay, Reki I'll stay awake, for you"

The ambulance finally turned up and they quickly loaded Langa onto a stretcher and into the vehicle, Reki wasn't able to ride with him and this resulted in Cherry giving him a ride on his motorcycle. His hands were still shaking and Cherry could feel it as they were wrapped around his waist. 

"He's gonna be okay Reki" Cherry said 

"I hope so" Reki said as he leaned his head against Cherry's back. 

\---

It had been two hours and they were still operating on Langa. The waiting was absolutely killing Reki, he was never one to be very patient in time like these.

He was tapping his foot against the nylon floors when suddenly the double doors at the end of the hall opened. Reki was in front of the doctor before anyone had the chance to register what was going on. 

"How is he? He's gonna be okay right?" 

The doctor looked down at Reki's hopeful eyes and tearstained cheeks before letting out a sad sigh "I- I'm not sure how to say this..." she trailed off. She looked at everyone around her before beginning again "Hasegawa is alive but..." she looked up at the ceiling to keep her own tears in, she felt as though she had failed the young boy who was previously on her operating table "...but he doesn't have long"

Reki's eyes widened as he stumbled backwards. His hands began to tremble again as his eyes brimmed with tears once again. His breathing became ragged and he could only hear a loud ringing in his eyes as Cherry bent down to him. Everyone else watched as Cherry began asking Reki questions in a calm soothing tone. It took a few seconds before Reki responded with shakes of his head. Cherry kept talking to Reki and soon Reki was replying to him in quiet breathy panicked sentences. 

Cherry asked Reki something and suddenly Reki was in his arms crying into his shoulder "I can't lose him Cherry" Reki cried quietly as he gripped onto the man in front of him. Cherry rubbed Reki's back firmly "Cherry I can't lose him I love him"

\---

Three months was what Langa had left. During his fall a rib had stabbed his heart slightly. The doctors had managed to put it back into place but there was still a small piece logged inside and that would cause major problems for him. If the doctors had removed it there and then he would've died and they couldn't have that.

Langa sat in his hospital bed with a single wire attached to his finger which monitored his heartbeat. His head was turned to look out of the window, it was a bright day outside and he wanted nothing more than to skate in the sunshine alongside Reki but he knew that was no longer an option.

Speaking of Reki, he stood in the doorway of Langa's room. He was wearing his usual attire of a hoodie and jeans but he looked off, Langa couldn't figure it out until...

"Your headband? It's gone?" Langa said quietly.

Reki cleared his throat as he walked towards the chair at Langa's bedside.

"Yeah, my mum's cleaning it. It uh, it had blood on it" Reki said quietly. 

"Oh"

There was a long pause.

"I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry"

Both boys looked at each other before letting out small laughs. Reki paused earlier than Langa and in that small moment he saw Langa's smile, he had missed that smile so much. A thought then crossed his mind.

The kiss.

"Um Langa... can we talk about.. um.. the kiss" Reki said quietly

"I meant what I said Reki" Langa saying this caused Reki to look up at him with wide eyes "I love you Reki, I have for a while now"

"You said loving me hurt you Langa" Reki said looking directly into Langa's eyes "I hurt you"

Langa shifted to the side and patted the side of his bed, a gesture for Reki to join him. Reki laid next to Langa and rested his head on Langa's shoulder as he usually would. The action felt so natural to them both that neither paid any mind to it.

"You didn't hurt me Reki, I hurt myself by not paying attention to you. I should've realised something was up"

Langa rested his head atop Reki's.

"If I had just told you what was wrong we wouldn't be in this situation Langa" Reki said quietly as he snuggled in closer to Langa.

Langa placed a kiss on top of Reki's head slightly inhaling the scent of his raspberry shampoo "let's not blame ourselves... we shouldn't waste our time on such silly things"

Reki's heart skipped a beat, wether it was because of Langa's words or the kiss on his head, he couldn't tell. 

"I'm sorry Langa"

"I'm sorry too Reki"

\---

A month had passed and Reki was once again laying beside Langa in his hospital bed. Langa had Reki in his arms as Reki showed him a video he found on the internet of a dog skateboarding. Reki thought it was the funniest thing and Langa couldn't help but smile at the sound of Reki's laughter and the huge smile that came with it.

"I just think that the dog is so cool, I'd love to meet it" Reki said has he shut off his phone and looked at Langa.

"I'm sure the dog would love to meet you too, Reki" Langa smiled softly. He continued running his nimble hands through Reki's wild hair. Reki had entered the room wearing his now bloodstain-free headband but during the course of his visit today it had made itself onto Langa's head. It held back the stray hairs that usually framed Langa's face and so Reki had the perfect view of him.

Langa on the other hand had to keep brushing Reki's hair away from his eyes as small pieces would constantly flutter across his eyelids and obstruct his vision.

"Reki... can I tie your hair up?" Langa asked as he brushed Reki's hair behind his ear. Reki quirked his eyebrow at the request before nodding and reaching over to the bedside cabinet to grab the spare hair hands Langa's mum had brought over earlier in the week.

"Take your time with it, I don't want you hurting yourself" Reki said quietly as he sat up with Langa behind him. Langa only nodded before once again running his fingers through Reki's soft hair.

Reki loved the feeling of Langa gently running his hands through his hair, the new feeling was so relaxing to him and he never wanted it to end. 

Langa gently pushed back the hairs at the front of Reki's head and gathered it in one hand before scooping the rest up with his other. Now came the hard part, tying it up. Langa had to be careful of the small machine attached to his finger or else his heart monitor would flatline and it would send the nurses into a flurry.

After a small while Langa had managed to tie Reki's hair and he looked so adorable. 

"Do I look amazing Langa" Reki said whilst fluttering his eyelashes animatedly at Langa.

Langa reached his hands up and cupped Reki's face "You look amazing Reki" he confirmed. The two remained looking at each other as Reki comfortable leaned into Langa's soft touch.

"Langa" Reki whispered, suddenly extremely aware of how close they were "can I kiss you?"

Langa looked at Reki for a moment before nodding. 

Reki leaned in slowly his eyes flickering from Langa's eyes to his lips up until the moment before their lips connected. It was a soft kiss, delicate even, as though if too much pressure was applied the both of them would completely crumble. Langa held Reki's face with a little more grip and Reki held onto Langa's waist. 

The kiss was short but not too short and it left them both wanting more.

Suddenly, Langa removed his hand from Reki's face and turned away as he coughed into it.

"Langa? Are you okay? Was it my breath?"

Langa coughed again before shaking his head and turning to Reki "no it wasn't, your breath is fine. The doctors said this was a side effect of you know, the shard of bone in my heart"

"Oh" Reki's face dropped immediately, he had almost forgotten about that "how does that work?"

"No idea" Langa replied "Can we lay back down? The cough made my head hurt a bit"

"Yeah sure, anything you want" Reki said with a small smile. He made sure to ask if Langa needed anything like painkillers or water and offered up anything he could do make him feel more comfrtable, however, Langa simply replied that he just wanted to lay with Reki and that that would make everything better.

"Reki you can lay your head on my chest you know? You don't have to sit uncomfortably" Langa said as he saw Reki basically hovering his head over Langa isntead of actually laying on him

"Doesn't it hurt?" Reki asked to which Langa shook his head "not at all"

And so Reki gently laid his head onto Langa's chest, though he was on his right side he could still hear Langa's heartbeat which was as steady as ever. 

After a few minutes Langa heard soft snores and looked down to see Reki asleep with his hands hugging onto him.

Langa ran a hand over Reki's head, avoiding his now messy bun "I love you Reki"

\---

Two months had passed and today was a chilly saturday.

Reki had come earlier than ususal which was extremely early, he had somehow managed to persuade the nurses to let him in an hour before visiting time. Reki had given Langa the excuse that he wanted to miss the rain but Langa knew it's because he didn't want Langa to go without the blanket they both huddled under on rainy days.

Reki brought himself into Langa's bed as usual only this time Reki had Langa lay on him. Reki could tell Langa was getting weaker each week. His skin was paling due to his red blood cells not moving around his body properly due to the bone in his heart and his hear was becoming thinner. He seemed to shiver slightly at slight breezes that wouldn't use to affect him and Reki took note of it all. 

Langa had his head on Reki's chest as he listened to his heartbeat. Reki had draped the blanket over the both of them and Reki was reading Langa an article he found about penguins.

"I bet you have penguins over in Canada right Langa? You know cause it's always cold over there?"

Langa could help but smile "No Reki, there were no penguins, there were moose though. They're scary"

"Did you ever sit on one? Like you do a horse?" Reki asked looking down at Langa.

"No, I was always too afraid" Langa answered.

There was a pause.

"I'm afraid Langa" Reki said quietly.

"Of moose?" Langa questioned, Reki shook his head and exhaled deeply. He ran his fingers up and down Langa's arm, it was more a comfort to Reki than anything else, it proved Langa was still there with him.

"Of losing you"

Langa paused and hugged Reki tighter whilst closing his eyes.

"You're never gonna lose me Reki, I'm all yours"

After a few moments Langa's breathing became shallow and Reki new he was fast asleep.

"I wanted to be yours, just not like this" Reki whispered to himself

\---

It had been three months and today was the Sunday visit.

Reki walked in that morning and was completely unprepared for what sat before him. Langa had completely changed overnight and not for the better. His veins were bright blue and visible under is pale skin, his hair had thinned even more and when the sleeves of his pyjamas rose up Reki could see how thin and frail Langa had actually become. 

Though Langa was in this state he still smiled when Reki walked in and still greeted him with their handshake even if his hands were shaking slightly. It was another cold day and Reki had once again pulled out the special blanket though he was sure it wasn't going to be enough to keep Langa warm. Reki made sure he and Langa were completely wrapped up in each other so Langa could absorb as much of his body heat as possible, Reki was basically a walking heater. 

Langa reached his arm up towards Reki's hear and started to run his fingers through it gently as he had done all those times before, his hand had a small needle tapped to it which was sometimes connected to a blood bag so he made sure to be as careful as he could.

Langa let out a shiver after a moment or two of playing with Reki's hair and that made Reki gently bring his arm down and hold it close to his chest. 

"Langa you're freezing, just keep close to me okay?"

Langa nodded at Reki's request, it was hard for him to reply these days, he hardly had any energy anymore so he saved it for the moments he deemed as important.

Reki traced small things onto Langa's back as Reki's arms were wrapped around him. 

Reki traced the kanji for 'i love you' into Langa's back as Langa curled into him more.

"I-I love you too Reki"

Reki looked down at Langa's slightly shaking figure and pulled him as close as he possibly could, anaemia was not kind at all.

Reki placed a kiss into Langa's head

"I love you, I love you so much"

This time, Langa traced the kanji for 'I love you' onto Reki's chest.

\---

Reki and Langa had fallen asleep together, however, Reki was the first to wake up.

He looked down at the boy in his arms who was no longer shivering as he had the previous night but instead was completely still. So still, in fact, Reki couldn't see the rise and fall of his chest.

_He knew._

Reki could feel how truly cold Langa was next to him, how still he was, how gone he was.

Reki let tears slip soundlessly from his eyes as he gripped Langa, or rather his body, in his arms. He didn't want to accept it, that Langa was gone. Langa had promised that he would always be there.

_"You're never gonna lose me Reki, I'm all yours"_

I'm all yours Langa, always


End file.
